Father's Day: The Truth Comes Out

You know what they say, better late than never.

Given my own double Father's Day (those of you with divorced parents with significant others will sympathize... double the gifts, double the fun), I totally forgot to post this in time, but I am hoping that my girls were on the observant tip this weekend. The main reason we single women love Father's Day is because it is the absolute best way to determine whether the man that you are seeing has children. Men lie. Not all. But many. While an honest man will give you a straight answer regarding this taboo topic, most will avoid the question all together and change the conversation so as to discuss something mindless like how great the menu looks, how bad the Yankees stink this year, their dog, or how much he enjoys your company. They will go to great lengths to neither confirm nor deny their seed, but as you know, actions speak louder than words. If on Sunday, he was no where to be found, he has a kid. If you called him, left multiple messages with no reply, he has a kid. If you called, and he picked up, and all you heard was the loud shrieks of four year-olds, guess what? He has a kid. If he came to see you past 10 p.m. and said he was "tied up" all day, chances are that he has a kid.


Don't act surprised, ladies. He gave you several warnings before his unexplained disappearance on Sunday. If he had pictures of infants, toddlers, preschoolers, teenagers or college graduates that bear his resemblance in his home, in his wallet, on his myspace page or on facebook, you knew that he a kid. If every time you went out, he got calls from his "nephew" that ironically bore his name but was also nicknamed "Junior," you knew he had a kid. There was that #1 Dad t-shirt in his closet that you chose to ignore. And when you casually mentioned that you couldn't wait to have children, to which he could only stare at you blindly in horror, you should have known then that he had a kid. In fact, it may not just be one kid. He can potentially have several. All with their own host of daddy abandonment issues and disciplinary problems.

Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with kids. I, like many women, hope to one day have my own. HOWEVER, that does not mean that I intend to raise yours, nor does it mean that I am interested in babysitting. But worst of all, there is a BIG problem that comes along with the kid. You guessed it: The BABY MOMMA.

The BABY MOMMA looms large and ominous, like a thunderstorm that is threatening to strike your house. She is stank. She is ghetto. Her weave is bad and her pants are tight. She is 30 going on 19, and is more concerned about the club on a Saturday night than the welfare of her child. No wonder your lying boyfriend and this broad got together. They are a match made in irresponsible, self-absorbed, bad parent heaven. And lucky for you, there is always the possibility that they will get back together because she needs the rent paid and she remembers just how he likes it.

In short, if on this Father's Day, you discovered that your boo has a child about which he was not upfront, dump him. There is no need to wonder about why he lied or whether you can get past this because if he lied about a child, god only knows what other surprises wait for you in the wings. And with such bad parents, the kid is guaranteed to be a certified monster in the spirit of Chucky.

For those of you reading this blog, and thinking "I had a kid in my relationship, and although we have parted ways, we have both moved on and still come together to raise our child...," we are not talking about you. Plenty of couples that once shared the love of creating a child don't always make it over the long haul. It's the liars out there with the baby momma drama that give fatherhood a bad rap. Jeez, where did all the nice guys go?