disaster strikes

On April 30, my purse was stolen at Aura (Side note: The club is located on 18th between 5th and B'way. Do not go. The girls look like pitbulls and the guys look like Lil Wayne).

In a momentary lapse of my normally good judgement, I rested my exceptionally big, heavy, expensive bag on a speaker so that I could properly dance with reckless abandon, as if to put out a mating call for the single young gentlemen out there (Ladies, please learn from my mistake: never put your bag down unless you want it to walk away). The rest of the evening's events are a blur, but I do recall meeting one particularly cute guy, who had no sense of time, space or reality, because he thought it was appropriate to approach me as I was busy cancelling my credit cards. Although we never did exchange numbers, he has crossed my mind a few times since... you can imagine my sense of excitement when a twist of fate (with a lil help from facebook) has brought me one step closer to him. I came home the other night to a random friend request from a stranger. While I normally decline these, I recognized the Bank of America employees featured in the profile picture, who happened to be there the night of the crime. These young men are all good friends and have all pursued a career in personal banking (please note, this is not the same thing as a teller. I confirmed. I have been unable to confirm the salary, so if you have information on this, please post a comment). The following is an excerpt from a facebook thread that ensued between me and Mr. Bank of America, herein referred to as "BOA":

Facebook Thread #1:
Me (May 15 at 1:50am): Hi. I don't think I have ever met you, but I met your two boys in your profile pic at a party a few weeks back. I actually cursed out the dude in the middle (nothing personal, I had my purse stolen so I was a bit irritated). They were with this other dude that worked for Chase... I was actually trying to holla at him, but when things got heated, it broke up. If Chase boy is on facebook, tell him to holla at me. Please let him know the girl that got her wallet stolen at Aura says hi, and that if he is interested in opening my bank account, I am down.

-J Mar

PS. How did you even find me on here?

BOA (May 15 at 1:58am): Lol wow that is fuuunnnyyyy!!! I remember telling me the story but I didn't kno it was u. U were friends wit someone I knew and for some strange reason I clicked the add buddy thing. As u can see I don't have that many buddies cuz I only accept ppl I kno but something probed me to request u. That is just crazy. Lolol. We're guna have a field day wit this tomorow.

Me (May 15 at 2:02am): Who are you telling? I just called my friends hysterically laughing because we haven't stopped laughing about the whole thing since it happened. Tell dude in the middle I am sorry that I cursed him out, but at the time he was laughing about how the thieves through my sneakers in the street, and I literally blacked out. It was a tough night. I don't know any of their names, just that they were all trying to open a new bank acct for me. SOOOOO FUNNY. What's Chase Boy's name (so I can stop calling him that?) Is he on facebook. I want to request him. I really can't stop laughing at the irony of this all.....


Facebook Thread #2:
Me (May 15 at 10:49pm): can i get the invite to the champagne room? [in response to his status quote: "Champaign room halla!"] loll. i was hoping i would have heard from chase boy by the weekend.

BOA (May 15 at 10:51pm): Lol we didn't get up today but, we'll meet tomorow and see what's good. So who's that girl in the blue? Is that mine?

Me (May 15 at 10:55pm): in the turquoise? i got u. thats my best friend. i can make it happen, but u gotta bring chase through.

BOA (May 15 at 10:58pm): Lol. I see ur studyin ur mba effectively. I like ur business savy. Lolol

Me (May 15 at 11:06pm): u are horseplayin lol. can i at least get his name? im going out now. goin to grand. DJ CAMILO is spinnin. holla though. let me know the deal. i got u with shorty in the blue if thats who ur feellin. u scratch my back, i scratch urs.

BOA (Today at 2:06am): Lol. I don't mind scratching ur back but my itch is elswhere. Lol. Make it happen soldier.

Conversation over. Itch is elsewhere? Gross. There are ointments for that.