Noel - silent morning

Trying to pass the time at work. My officemate just won tickets to Hot 97's Freestyle Extravaganzaaaa.... took me back to the days I used to listen to this.

Why do I still love this song? (This should be info I keep to myself). His vest is fierce.

Will Smith: Apparently the USA ain't racist anymore....

Just wanted to share this writer's response to recent statements made by Will Smith saying that the election of Barack Obama to the presidency somehow is evidence that America is no longer racist.

This response is pretty on point: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=15116190&blogID=471116768

A Trip Down Memory Lane

The following list is a compilation of nicknames that have been utilized for men that have entertained us over the years. I am sorry if I didn’t get to include any of your favorites on the list. Please note that it is important to refer to men by using an epithet or colorful nickname until he deserves the proper respect of using his full government. This will keep you from unnecessarily catching feelings because every time you say his name, you will want to laugh.

• 6’7 aka Daddy of the Year – A man of great heights (literally) who is yet to acknowledge his two children in conversation, like he didn’t give out his card, with his website, which includes the bio.

• Nassau – Because he is from the Bahamas.

• Big Brother aka the Jamaican – Named for his pledge name which was found on google (yes, I google every dude I talk to. This is a must.) Also known for his country of origin, similar to Nassau.

• Big Body aka 6’4 240 – A bouncer with a rather large, notable physique.

• Tutti Frutti – Because we always wondered if he was really gay.

• Casper – Because this cat was ghost. Dated for two weeks, made shorty meet moms, and then disappeared.

• Romeo – Because he used to add an O to the end of his name when he hollered at chicks.

• Big Stick, Can’t Hit – Because he is obsessed with his own penis, and for the last 8 years, has never failed to mention its size in conversation, and he will NEVER hit.

• The German aka Nazi – Half-black, half-German, nickname depends on the status of the relationship.

• Nice Dude – Nice enough, just not that interesting.

• Don Lemon – Because he was on-air newscaster on a local cable station, the closet thing I ever came to the real thing.

• London - Professional soccer player and Teddy Bear. Jamaican by birth, but raised in London. You may remember him from "A Miami Tale" (see Thursday, June 5, 2008 post).

• The Stalker – Because he calls 20 times in a row, even after not speaking for months.

• The Jerk Off Guy – Jerked off on the first date before going to a mall. Needless to say, never saw him again. That’s just gross.

• Cosmos – Because he always references fate, the stars and other astrological phenomena.

• Midget aka the Arab DJ – This was just a bad experience all together. The only thing shorter was the dude.

• The Unmentionable – Because I am too afraid to say his name lest the devil may appear.

• Spaghetti – This one needs no explanation. If you can’t figure it out, you are reading the wrong blog.

• The 4 Davids – All from different boroughs. Queens, Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan. Everything but Staten Island, because who does Staten Island.

• Officer Fernandez – He was cop, although can’t remember the real name.

• Breeze: He introduced himself as Breeze. I said my name was the Wind. My friend said she was the rain. To which he replied: "well, we can all get together and make a thunderstorm." Later discovered he had too many kids to count. And his facebook status changed from married to single and back, regularly.

• Booz: Short for Booz Allen. Liked to grow out his facial hair to please women and had a thing for Jamie Foxx (yes, his sexuality was suspect).

• L.L. Bean: Best friends with Booz, and named for his affinity for boring sweaters. He also liked Jamie Foxx a ton, and was more interested in girls' resumes than anything else. Said suspect things like, "I was proud of myself today. I lost 2 lbs."

• Malcolm X: He was a whore all 4 years of college, until second semester senior year, at which point he decided he was going to turn his life over to Islam, and move to Saudi Arabia to play basketball. No joke. I wish I was kidding.

Who can forget the Bank Dudes, because there were several (this was last summer, before the collapse of the economy. All have since been laid off):

• Chase – Worked as a Personal Banker at Chase. Was on the simple side, but he looked like Method Man, so he lasted for a bit.

• Wamu aka the Hulk – Worked at Washington Mutual before it went under; also had a thing for body building that was rather disturbing.

• JP – Because he worked on the Investment side. Said things like “make sure you wear your drinking shoes.” Never actually went on a date, although I was included in his mass promoter-type emails inviting me to free parties.

• Bank of America aka Niga (NI- JAH, not the other n word) – The former name because of his employment, the latter because he was Nigerian, and referred to his boys as "Nigas."

• Goldman – Another one barely worth mentioning. Barely taller than the midget.

There was also a United Nations Series: a few Puerto Ricans, a Cuban, Grenada, Regular Black, Midwest Black, Down South Black, Harlem Black, Brooklyn Cats—Coney Island and Canarsie get special attention. The Bronx (my personal favorite, because even though I HATE the borough, every man I have ever dated has been off either the 2/5 or the 1/9). Dominican Republic aka Dyckmans. Panama. Two Half-Filipinos. Morocco (Yikes! Early blog readers will recall this one), and the list goes on.

So ladies, please be sure to find to retire the habit of referring to dudes by their real names, because nicknames just make it that much more interesting.

Why we hate the corny dude

You went to sleep to avoid the reality that fine dude consistently ignores you despite the fact that you should have any guy you want. I'm beautiful you say. I have a big butt and a brain. What's going wrong? You rationalize, you get no response, you check your phone and nothing. And then the sound of a slight vibration awakes you. A missed call. Can't be. And from 718 number that you have never seen before. You get gassed and think maybe its fine dude who you are mildly head over heels even when he pays you no mind. You go to check your voicemail and you think finally, he has recognized the fabulous woman that I am and has come around.

Nope.

Fine dude is never coming around. Your heart nearly skipped 5 beats when you thought it was fine dude, but you have now discovered it is corny dude, and it makes you want to disconnect your service. You literally met him the same week you met fine dude last summer and you have been talking for what seems like too long and you've NEVER actually gone out. He calls from his home, his work, his cell--you have every possible number stored, and yet his calls are never announced. You have his every point of contact, and in the event that you actually wanted to get in touch with him there's no way you could ever say, I lost (one of your many) numbers. Left some wack message about possibly talking about arranging a time to hopefully hang out. Clearly he is not in sales because he never directly asks for the business. Calls you elusive. You laugh to yourself--not if you ask fine dude, I can't keep myself from blowing him up. And to make matters worse, you deleted corny dude from your phone (again) a week ago after fine dude hinted at the potentiality of "doing sumthin this wkend." But now, when there is nothing else in the pipeline, you entertain the idea of dating him because he is very tall, he isn't ugly and the story "we met in business school" seems to have a nice, safe, reliable ring, and it will help you justify the return on the MBA loans if it also yields an MRS (Ew. Just the thought makes you lose all interest in sex. You'd rather get cats). And now you are pissed at him and he hasn't even done anything, just because he isn't the other dude and he can't control the corniness.

So stop wondering why despite the plethora of dates, you are still very single. Stop chasing fine dude and it would be a good start. So you find yourself on your blackberry, digging through old emails from corny dude to find his cell (which is included in the signature of each note) becuase you don't want to call him at home.

Admit to yourself that not wanting you is not a desired quality, and there is no reason to act pathetic.

If fine dude is reading this, I hate you.... Call me (lol).

If corny dude is reading this, I am sorry that even though your lack of charm is mildly endearing, you are mostly a victim of circumstance. Your timing really stinks. Blame it on fine dude. See you Friday night.

Interracial Dating (The Effed Up Truth)

Ok, so let me start by saying that my original intention was to address domestic violence a la Chris Brown & Rihanna, but then someone forwarded me this link, a top 10 of interracial dating combinations, and I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or be mad.

Just wanted to share with everyone... Please note that in every scenario, black men just want to "hit it one good time." And from the looks of this list, Latinas never get with Asians.... things that make you go hmmm.

http://fiyastarter.com/fs-pages/fs-socgen-interrelation10.html

The Pursuit of Happiness (Psychology Today)

Happy Monday :)

This week is fraught with all kinds of topics that I can write about--namely the impending Hallmark Holiday which I refuse to acknowledge by name because I don't have someone to buy me flowers or chocolates--but today, I'd rather share an article that I read over a month ago, and have been meaning to share for quite some time. Don't ask me why I read Psychology Today, but I actually really enjoy the articles. I consider them therapy-lite, for those of us that want a taste of understanding and self-discovery without the clinical jargin.

Anyhoo, this article touches on some very true, yet often overlooked aspects of happiness:

- "Happiness" is not something to be experienced 24/7, yet modern society constantly encourages us to perpetually seek it. If we were happy all the damn time, how would we even know what it feels like anymore?

-Pain is part of happiness: That quick fixes (which I often indulge in, be it chocolate or new clothing) tend to be our way to temporary escape real emotions of sadness, disappointment, etc.--the icky stuff that we want to get off as soon as possible. The trouble with quick fixes is that you may never confront what's really underneath. If we confront the root of the problem, we may actually find ourselves closer to happiness, so therefore, by running, we really cause the opposite effect that we are trying to achieve...

- Simple, yet true: Some people are just born to be happy. I know, we all hate them, but some people just naturally see the bright side. The rest of us need a little of what they've been sipping on...

-Getting What You Want Doesn't Bring Lasting Happiness: Ain't that that damn truth. How many times have you struggled to get something you thought would solve all your problems, and in the end, it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be? The author suggest that for some of us the process of achieving your goals can be as rewarding, if not more, than actually getting there. Keep that in mind the next time you want to skip waking up for the gym.

Here's the link, so you can read on.... I really enjoyed it. Hope you can find something to be "happy" about today...

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20081215-000001.html

Source: Flora, Carlin. "The Pursuit of Happiness," Psychology Today. January 2009

Psychology Today Magazine, Jan/Feb 2009

Last Reviewed 31 Jan 2009

Article ID: 4738

New Face of G.O.P. Brings a Brash Style (nytimes.com)

In case you wanted to get the scoop on Michael Steele, here's today's article from The New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/04/us/politics/03web-nagourney.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

The New Black on Black Crime: Michael Steele's Gang Violence

So if you having been paying attention to the news, you have probably heard the new chairmen of the RNC, Michael Steele trying to assassinate our modern day Camelot, the vision that has become Barack Obama and the First Family. He is making it his personal business to dead all stimulus packages and Cabinet nominations. It is like Booker T. vs. WEB DeBois and the New Negro, Part II. Michael Steele claims that he is out to rebuild the Republican party, appeal to the youth and ressurrect American family values. Gross.


To make a reference to the term Harriet Beecher Stowe made oh-so-famous, Uncle Tom, is an understatement.

It is not a coincidence that his party ran a platform that bordered hate speech, with Palin claiming that President Obama had been "pal-ing" around with terrorists, or making remarks about his being Muslim (which is untrue), as if that made him ineligible to run for the presidency. Seriously, for the Repubican Party to appoint this man as chairman of the RNC is as obvious a tactic as was adding Sarah Palin to the ticket as Vice-President, as if Hilary supporters were not going to see through this very tacky political trick. Black people are not going to flock to the Republican Party because Steele is appointed.


Just the contrary, their base--their small town, small mind America base is probably planning to abandon ship. Moreover, this underhanded notion that President Obama can only be taken down by another prominent Black figure basically undermines his whole platform of being the people's president, not just a Black President.



I am sure that right now white people in Kentucky are rioting in the streets. Pro-lifers are suffering meltdowns and KKK members are wondering how they lost their grip. If nothing else comes of this appointment, I hope its to disenfranchise the ignorant. Maybe they will stay home all together in 2012, and hopefully we will win by an even bigger landslide.